The Class Reunion
(Author unknown)
Submitted by Gary &
Gail Grimes
Every Five years, as summertime nears,
An announcement arrives in the mail,
A reunion is planned; it’ll be really
grand;
Make plans to attend without fail.
I’ll never forget the first time we
met;
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big
cigars,
And wore our most elegant dress.
It was quite an affair; the whole
class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted
refined,
And everyone thought it was swell.
The men all conversed about who had
been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described
their fine houses
And how beautiful their children
became.
The homecoming queen, who once had
been lean,
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost
their hair,
And the cheerleaders could no longer
do kicks.
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who’d guided a spacecraft to the moon;
Or poor little Jane, who’s always been
plain;
She married a shipping tycoon.
The boy we’d decreed “most apt to
succeed”
Was serving ten years in the pen,
While the one voted “least” now was a
priest;
Just shows you can be wrong now and
then.
They awarded a prize to one of the
guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had
driven
The farthest to attend the feast.
They took a class picture, a curious
mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts, and wide ties.
Tall, short, or skinny, the style was
the mini;
You never saw so many thighs.
At our 20th get-together,
no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or
not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot
more normal;
By this time we’d all gone to pot.
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake
shores;
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and
beans.
Then most of us lay around in the
shade,
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
By the fortieth year, it was
abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those who weren’t dead had to crawl
out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.
And now I can’t wait; they’ve set the
date;
Out fiftieth is coming, I’m told.
It should be a ball, they’ve rented a
hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.
Repairs have been made on my hearing
aid;
My pacemaker’s been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth
have been boiled;
And I’ve bought a new wig and glass
eye.
I’m feeling quite hearty, and I’m
ready to party.
I’m gonna dance ‘til dawn’s early
light.
It’ll be lots of fun; But I just hope
that there’s one
Other person who can make it that
night.
